Here we go again...

Here we go again... all the way from the start...
It doesnt matter if time passes by... its not like it heals everything after all...
I try to hang on but eventualy my strenght fades again...
And i fall down to the deep darkness within once more...

Can't blame anyone but me...
For everyone says the same... "You should not live your life hanging to someone..."
But how can i... if everything i ever wanted was already scripted...
Was already planed... and it turn out to be just an ilusion...

Somehow i thought, fool of me, that i would be able somehow to keep smiling...
Faking... Lieing to everyone... But there are times when even to do such simple things my strenghts are not enough...
I hide behind games, hobbies and buzz... nothing is never enough to heal me...
There was a time when the night was the hardest part of the never ending day...
When i lay alone in the bed... but even I grew used to it...
So now... the mornings are the hardest to deal with...
I'm already used to be alone...
What i will never be used to... its to wake up from my foolish dreams...
God knows (if there is one...) that i've tried everything i could...
Still its never enough to heal me...

I still write hoping that somehow the pain goes away within everyword...
Hoping somehow the words would reach the one i thought that understood...
The more i grow... the more foolish i seem...
So helpless that even I think of myself that way...

What else can I do... what else can i try...?
Where else can i hold to?

If somehow there was a slightest light to guide me...
I've grown too blind to see any hope...
I've grown too week to fight for anything...
And worse... i've grown too dumb to accept the way the things are...
Because they are like that and nothing i'll ever do will make a diference...

Everybody judges me... Everybody points their fingers at me...
And in the end i am always the one to blame...
I might have all the reason on my side... Still... _I'm always the one to take the fall...
Can't stand it...
And i've grown too much of a coward to be able to end it all...

So me and my closest "friends"...
Loneliness, sorrow, hate and fear...
We keep on this journey...
Even when it seems its over...
Here we go again...