Lies and Lies...

Im sick of people...
Those humans that are mado of nothing but lies...
There are lies and lies all over the place...

What is it with the people... why is it a lie such a reliable thing...?
And i can't stant it anymore... even after death... the lies are what hurt the most...

I was smiling...

The day that my world stood still...
I was smiling...
In my heart despite all the pain and hatred i had hope...
Somehow... i was smiling...

Somehow i thought about it in a diferent way and i was decided to put my heart and soul to a final test...
But i wasn't expecting what was yet to come...

Naive... I was smiling...
So the day passed by with one thing one my mind... The thing i wanted the most...
I would've fighted for it with all my might...

Therefor... I was smiling...
Once again... I was smiling... And on the place where once seemed to be an endless hole...
My heart started to warm up once again... Somehow the pain and sorrow faded and my lips where able to smile once again...

Naive... I was smiling...
Until the shocking truth came like thunder piercing the last piece of armor my soul and heart had remain...

The world stoped for a while... Somehow what did all the sense before... it vanished...
The joy and hope i had... turned into disgust and hatred...

I felt ashamed of myself for being so naive... i really was smiling...

And now that nothing is left for me...
There is only one thing that comes to my mind when i cry...
I was so young and i was smiling... I was only 24 when i died...

Equivalent Exchange...

The first law of Equivalent Exchange:

In order to obtain something... one must lose something of equal value...

When i think about this... i dont see a stronger truth that this law...
Everything we gain... comes with a price...
We want something material... we work to gain money and so we trade time of our life and that same money for something of equal value...
If we want to be good at something... we must lose some time practicing that same thing...

This was so close of becoming my only truth...
But... when i think about it... can it really be...
If Equivalent Exchange really is the most unshakeble truth in this world...
How much more must i give... how much more must i lose... in order to obtain the thing i want the most?
I've given now about everything... and still... it seems to be not enough...
It is never enough...

Am i really that weak? Im i really that powerless that everything i have to give is not enough to be the equivalent of what i wish the most...

Is my life really that cheap?
Because i've allready gave it up... and still is not enough...

10 years...

It has been almost 10 years now...
Somehow i could keep it under my command... under my control...

But as I grow im becoming more and more selfish...
And so that feeling... its about to run free... its about to go wild...

Help me...

A ultima escolha...

Quando a covardia toma conta...
As palavras bloqueiam...
Nada sai... apenas o suspiro sustentado pela lágrima à noite...
Apenas o laminar da faca no coração...
E o sangue corre...

Quando a covardia toma conta...
Os actos não saiem...
A naturalidade desaparece... e o medo reina...
Apenas os movimentos frios de um robot sem sentido...
E o sangue corre...

Quando o medo toma conta...
Aquele que nada teme torna-se vazio...
Sem saber como enfrentar esse sentimento novo...
Descobre apenas... a cada dia que passa...
Mil correntes de aço a prenderem os seus membros e bloquearem suas palavras...
E na hora da verdade...

Foge... Foge apenas sob falsos pretextos de recomeço...
Pois quando a covardia toma conta...
Aquele que nada teme... corre como um cao amedrontado...
Foge...
Quando o medo toma conta...
Aquele que sonha segue o caminho dos covardes...
Foge...
E toma a sua ultima escolha...

The Hedgehog Dilema...

I wonder why...
The Hedgehog Dilema...

I wonder why...
Time passes by and still... the same dilema...
Ever and ever again...

The Hedgehog Dilema...
The closer we get... the harder it hurts...
Still... we cant back off... because we need that warm feeling...

The Hedgehog Dilema...
Somehow... its allways here...
Lingering in my life...

My mind wispers from the shade...
Stay away... you're going to get hurt...
But my heart... it needs that warm feeling...

That warm feeling... The closer we get... the warmer it feels...
That piercing pain... The closer we get... The harder it hurts...

Dark night... with no tomorrow...

Dark Night... with no tomorrow

The night turns the red sky into black...
And the thin air gets heavy and cold...
I dwell in memories from not way back...
I keep in mind how i miss those days of old...

Every star in the sky could be a tear shed
From the eyes of my empty soul...
And those are the memories that fed
That demon... My shadow ghoul...

The road is long... therefor so small i feel...
Those years feel like days... and the joy like sorrow...
To remember in pain that is my drill...
To have no faith in the raising tomorrow...

The words that i cannot speak...
They crave for blood in my heart...
They work like a killer with an ice pick
Hunting its pray into the dark...

So the time has come once more...
For me to lay into the bed of sorrow...
I close my eyes... i close the door...
In this Dark night... with no tomorrow...

That myth called "loyalty"...

We live in a world of legends and urban myth's
Fairy tales and eternal stories...
But among all of those fantastic things writen in the books...
When we close the magic books there is something that there is no more...
No more in this world...
And that's... That myth called "Loyalty".

Everything that matters is suposed to be based on that same myth...
Love, Frienship, Family and even work...

But those Lilin's grew egocentric and self centered...
And thus Loyalty was no more...

On other hand... its other half arised...
The non stoping betrayal...

Now... i look around...
And see... that there is no one there for me to trust...
Nor friends, family or lover...
Everyone is capable of betrayel when the situation calls...
So why am i so disapointed?
Did i really believed?
Fool of me i did... i did believe... in that...
That myth called "Loyalty"

Little Pain - Olivia Lufkin

Travel to the moon kimi wa nemuri yume wo toku
Daremo inai hoshi no hikari ayatsurinagara

Tsuyoku naru tame wasureta egao
Kitto futari nara torimodosu

Kizuite
I'm here waiting for you
Ima to wa chigau mirai ga attemo
I'm here waitong for you
Sakebitsuzukete
Kitto kokoro wa tsunagu ito wo tagutteru
Ano koro no watashi me wo samasu you ni
No need to cry

Travel in silence te wo nobaseba fureru no ni
Kimi wa tooi sore wa omoide no naka no koto

Koe ga kikoeru me wo tojireba
Chiisana itami sae itoshikute

Mitsumete
I'm here waiting for you
Kaze ni fukare hitori mayottemo
I'm here waiting for you
Sora wo miagete
Zutto kokoro wa te wo hirogete mamotteru
Ano koro no kimi ga furikaeru made
No need to cry

(Feel something, feel nothing
Listen closely, listen closely)
Wide open ears
Disarm the dream tickler
In the constant moment
(You will find me where it's quiet
Listen closely, listen closely)
Let the blood flow
Through all the spaces
Of the universe

Kizuite
I'm here waiting for you
Ima to wa chigau mirai ga attemo
I'm here waitong for you
Sakebitsuzukete
Kitto kokoro wa tsunagu ito wo tagutteru
Ano koro no watashi me wo samasu you ni
No need to cry

Can it really be...

The lonely night fills my eyes with burning tears once again...
As promises of eternety seem so far behind now...
Time passes by and all i can say now is...
Can it really be...
Can it really be over?
Is it really to late for me...

Maybe it is...

My only wish...

If a wish of mine could be granted...
The one i wish the most is the power to bend time...
If only i could make the clock move the other way for once...
I now know... i would be happy today...

Instead of being writing my soul on some blog today...
I would be by your side... And we would smile like once we used to do every day...

Now you're not by my side anymore and still your presence still lingering here...
Hauting me... Haunting my dreams...
So i awake... Desperate... wishing for that dream to be real somehow...

If only i could turn back time...
I could've avoided both of our mistakes...
And still... today...
We would be together... Smiling like we used to do every day...
We would still be happy... No tears shed...

If only i could turn back time...
If there was a chance for me to get my wishes granted...
To Bend time... That would be...
My only wish...

Why?

Because now its too late...

Doi...

Empty Life Stream...

This is the system of this world...
Bad people doing bad things turning good people into bad ones...
And so on... and on... and on...
Thats what happen...
That is why no one is really allowed to be pure...
That is why no one is really free...

And so the world evolves rotten...
As i am being left behing...
There is no space left for me in it...
Not the way it is right now...

This world we live in... Its more like a dark hole...
It sucks everything in its way...

I've tried to create my own world...
And so the system engaged...
And turned the most shinning light into the most cold darkness...
It pierced my wings and my heart leaving me to die alone...

Still i try to get up and reach for the hand of an angel...
But even that pure little angel got corrupted and fell on disgrace...
Despite everything i've tried... It was useless...
And the time flies by... taking my angel away...
As for me... Well I cannot follow it... I've lost my wings...
Pierced by the hand of sorrow...
Slain by the sword of the wicked world...
So i remain a slave of its system...
So i remain a slave...
In this empty life stream...

Se por meias palavras...

Se por meias palavras pudesse dizer...
Aquilo que me vai hoje me tira a calma...
E a ti te fizesse chegar para poderes entender...
A dor que a noite me corrompe a alma...

Se por essas mesmas palavras a esperança
Preenchesse o vazio que se apoderou do meu universo
Transformando o meu sonho puro de criança
Em mais um golpe deste mundo perverso...

E hoje cá estou só novamente de passagem...
Pelo meu crescente caixote dos desabafos...
E se as meias palavras a ti chegasses...
Talvez estivesses ainda aqui em meus braços...

Mas a dualidade do destino entra em efeito ...
Estando sempre presente como no céu e no inferno...
A dualidade que torna em algo mau o que era perfeito...
Que torna efémero o que deveria ser eterno.

Em meu coração para sempre existirás...
E sei que nada nunca o poderá mudar...
E se por meias palavras eu fosse capaz...
De a meu lado eternamente te fazer descansar...

Então mais tempo passa e apenas aguardo
Neste triste quarto que outrora fora o nosso
Espero o teu regresso enquanto em mim te guardo
Espero pelo dia que saiamos deste calaboço...

Eu conheço-te

Eu conheço-te...
Tu que habitas agora meu coração...
És-me demasiado familiar...
Eu conheço-te... Sempre te conheci...
E pensei que desta vez... tinhas ido embora para sempre...
Mas não... Tu continuas aqui...

Algum dia me verei livre de ti?
Parece que a cada sol nascente te expandes e corrompes mais aquilo que sou...

Sei os efeitos que provocas em mim...
Sem como me fazes sofrer... Sei como te odeio...
Sei como não me deixas viver...

Ao mínimo sinal... sei que és tu...
Porque ao fim deste tempo todo...
Eu conheço-te...

És o vazio em meu coração que apenas a verdadeira princesa podia preencher...
Aquela... dos contos de fada...
Mas ela não está aqui... E os meus sonhos... nunca passarão disso mesmo...

E tu... tão familiar me persegues...
De novo...
Porque no fim sou sempre eu e tu, Solidão...
No fim de contas... quando acho que finalmente entendo tudo...
Não sei nada... Não conheço ninguém...
Mas a ti Solidão... a ti sim...
Eu conheço-te... Bem demais...

Porque no fim da guerra... apenas sobramos nós...
És a faca cravada em meu coração que alguém um dia jurou tirar...
Como se fosses a espada Excalibur e o meu coração a pedra de onde em tempos mágicos Artur a removeu...
E assim o príncipe virou rei...
Quanto a ti faca Solidão...
Apenas a mais pura das princesas te poderia remover...
E assim a princesa viraria rainha do reino que sou eu...

Mas até esse dia chegar... se é que chegará realmente um dia...
Tu ficarás aqui... a matar-me lentamente...
Como é que eu sei?
Porque no fim de todo este tempo, Solidão...
Eu conheço-te...

That is fine my angel... That is fine...

So i right once more...
In my head... in my heart... there you are...
Allways so present...

But my arms are still empty...
Everything... is gone...
If i could bend time and go back in the past...
I could've stoped you from doing so many things...

And today... my arms would not be empty...

As i look down to my chest... i still see the knife you drove into my heart...
And it still hurts and burns as much as before...
All my dreams have faded and all my hopes vanished...
There is nothing for me to stand for anymore...

I try to look forward thinking tomorrow will be a better day...
Still... Everymorning hurts even more than the morning before...
Every night i lay alone in my bed... how i whish you were there with me...
I try to pull off the knife... but i am not strong enough...
Only you could do it for me...
But instead... you push it deeper and deeper...
And the only reason why my heart is still beating...
Its because of you...

Everything was taken from me...
And still i would not care at all... if at least... you were here...
But you're not...
Instead you believe in lies of those who have ever lied to you...

People who tried to hurt you with their lies and you know its true...
Still... You believe in them...
That is fine my angel...
You are too naive...
You've allways been...
Maybe that is why you will never be able to pull off the knife you stabed in my heart...
Maybe that is why... day by day... you keep on pushing it deeper...

That is fine my angel...
You are too blind...
You've allways beed...
Maybe that is why you've never seen the world i made for us....
Maybe that is why you've done everything you could... to destroy it...

Still... I love you... and as long as i do... i will be able to survive...
And i know... that's why i will live forever...
So... That is fine my angel...
That is fine...

O cavaleiro caido...

As palavras sao ditas com sinceridade...
Ou assim pensa o ingenuo mortal...
Palavras de princesa ditas da boca da sua amada...
E luta ele... pobre idiota para acreditar que são reais...
Mas a princesa esconde por trás da pureza do branco da sua aura...
A sujidade que corrompe o mundo de hoje...
As palavras sinceras sao mentira... e tudo se destroi... dissolve... evapora...

Pobre o idiota que acreditou e deu seu coração...
Pobre o cavaleiro que colocou seu coração nas mãos da princesa da torre...
Pois com o seu punhal enquanto este confiava... Estocou vezes infinitas a sua fonte de vida...
Princesa traiçoira...
Por tras da pureza do branco da sua aura... esconde a sujeira que corrompe...
E no final...

Todos os sonhos destruidos... Todas as batalhas travadas foram perdidas...
Todas as palavras sinceras... Mentiras...
Todos os sentimentos... enganos...

E sem a armadura de ferro para o proteger
No final...
Ele continua um idiota... Talvez... o maior de todos eles...
Não é mais o cavaleiro com o coração de ferro... Não...
E apenas um cavaleiro caido...
Injenuo para perceber que os dragões eram afinal servos da princesa da torre...
E agora...
Cuspindo o sangue das suas feridas...
O sangue corre negro...
Corrompido pela sujidade de quem sem pudor... destroçou o seu coração...
O sangue corre negro... porque não existem mais lagrimas de agua pura para o limpar...
E ai o cavaleiro morre... e o coração para...
Os que passam a seu lado... indiferentes...
Pensando apenas... Mais um... Apenas mais um idiota...

And thus legend is born

Its when its torn...
That little thing called love...
Its on that moment you gather all your strenghts...

There is a battle to be fought...

With hope in your heart and despair in your mind...
The hardest of all the battles fought before...

And you don't have a choice...
Its not enought to fight it and rest upon defeat and say... "i've tried"...
No... It's not enought...

You have to win it...

Because its on that very instant...
With hope... lost...
When you fight for your love, your life in a last strugle of survival...

You win... with your heart torn...
And thus a legend is born...

My illusion

A new day... once again it came...
But my sun does not shine anymore...
Darkness... all my light became
As my life fades away once more...

When you were here only by my side
We could travel trough the ancient times
We could even make the planets colide
We could even turn the strongest of the tides...

So now tears became my only sea
For me to drift away broken apart
As my scared chest now rests empty...
The chest were once was your heart...

I'm wondering now... why am i so hopeless...
Where did i fail in this love ordeal...
Was i not enough for you princess...
Why would it end again in betrayal?

Mixed in the lies of your words promisses of endless love...
Promisses of being with me in the days yet to come...
But somethings never change, and i am the one to blame
Believing in magic... thus making the same mistake once again...

Now i rest... With your picture in my hand...
And still tears take their way through my face...
As my whole perfect world seems to bend...
Into the most cold and darkest place...

So many times i've sang the truth to you...
So many times during this fight...
And you knew everything i need was to
"Have you in these arms, tonight..."

And now what? What should i do...
How can i keep on moving
How can i keep on living...
If everything just resumes... to you...

You've walked into the cold word outside
Shutting behind you the access door...
Forgetting everything... Leaving me behind
And now i open my eyes and you're here no more...

All I can do is to just pretend now...
Pretend that once again you'll be...
Here... faithfull someday, somehow...
My illusion... the only thing left for me...

Words Unspoken

Even if words are not to be spoken once again...
Still the acts count...
The acts that broken the unbreakable string...

Magic... Will be there any magic strong enought to put it back together...
To connect my heart to where it belongs?
Still.. if worlds are unspoken...
Some things never change...

The Best Magician...

True Love...
Endless Love...
Love...
Love is by far the best magician ever...
Do you want to know why?

Copperfield made Liberty Statue disapear and it pierced trough the Great Wall of China...
Chriss Angels can walk on the water and even levitate without strings...
Impressive indeed...
But still... a trick... explainable... understandable...

But Love...
The kind of love that i feel for you...
It made my life, my dreams, my world, my family, my smile, my heart, my soul, my hope, my ambition, my future, my past, my present, my reality, my ilusion, my truth, my fate, my self...
All disapear into darkness... In a blink of an eye...
And it was no trick...
It was for good...

Now i understand why they say that Love is Magic...

I only wish... that i could now bring all that vanished... back...

Do i ask for the impossible?

The things i've asked for... are they too much?
I asked for a family... denied...
I asked for love... denied...
I asked for you... denied...
I asked for loyalty... denied...
I asked for the truth... denied...
I asked for patience... denied...
I asked for a hug... denied...
I asked for a smile... denied...

Lie after lie my life keeps on... time wont stop and its the one who's in charge...
My life is passing by as i walk on the string of lies...
Words...
Some people use words as a shield... others as a weapon...
Words are like swords pointed to my heart...

Now... i'll just ask for one more thing...
Tired of all this lies...
I just ask for honesty...

Tell me now...
Do i ask for the impossible?

Fun Game...

It is a fun game this between Truth and Lie...
Is it not ironic to see how you find your unshakeble truth
Was raisen upon false hopes and lies?
And then again those same false hopes and lies
Become for you... the unshakeble pilars of your new truth...
Funny is it not?
Surelly is... so...
Why am I not laughting?

Eternamente...

Esta foi mais uma noite em que me deitei sozinho...
Sem o doce da tua voz...
Olho para o vazio dos meus braços e nada parece ser sentido...
Escuto atentamente o que o silencio tem para me dizer...
E deixo que o frio me toque a pele...

No coração o aperto habitual da saudade...
Cada vez maior... Cada vez mais angustiante...
A minha voz chama por ti mas poderás tu escuta la?
Estas tão longe... Mas acredito que sim...
Quero acreditar...
Acredito que não importa a distancia
A mim voz chegará a ti...
E te lembrará daquilo que sabes e sempre soubeste...
A minha voz fala pelo meu coração...
Revelando te a vontade do meu ser...
A vontade de te ter so para mim...
Transecendendo a historia e o tempo...
Ter te para mim...
Eternamente...

Late Pain...

I miss hearing your voice every single night...
Why did you left me alone in a river of tears...
Why did you run taking my strengh to fight
Bringing to me the worst of all fears...

Your voice, it used to be
Within my soul and heart
The most peaceful melody
Everytime i've fallen apart

But your presence here is no more
And so tell me why? How can i live?
Why i've heard from you nevermore?
Is it true that you really dont believe?

And so once again i have those cold chills
When the night brings to my eyes the rain
This bitter loneliness that rape and kills
This cold blood murderer, my Late Pain...

I could've survived just by hearing your voice...
I would keep on moving like i had no other choice
But for me to live without hearing from thee...
Is not that too much for you to ask me?

...

And so the shadow cries once again...
Yet... no one cares about its tears...
No one cares about the tears of a shadow...
Only the tears of the one whom that shadow belongs to...

Ilusions Never Change...

Just another cold night...
Im trapped inside a cage of sorrow and emptyness...
Somehow... it will allways haunt me...
Somehow... it will never go away...
So how can i just turn my back as if its nothing?
As if nothing happened at all?
Why do things have to be this way?
Why is there a need to the rest of the world corrupt my own reality?

Behind every smile, behind every hope...
Tears eternal are yet to come...
For the pain that burns within myself
Because the foolish dream of happiness
Because in the end my fate its hell...
Raping the heart of the boy who believed
Excruciating pain on every single cell...
Though... this dream its not mine to be lived...

Day by day the hand of sorrow forsakes me...
In the end pain is what will be left to feel
Because in this world the reality that i see:
Its that ilusions never change... into something real...

just so you know and never forget

I want you like the roses want the rain...
You know i need you like a poem needs the pain...